Frugal Fighter Pillows

'I may be 40 years old, but I have the student debt of a 20 year old.'

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"Is this something that could hold till Monday, Chris?"

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

A street fight.

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

Wrestling Champion.

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

Bernard Madoff's House Arrest.

Man with Sword in Penholder

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

Solar Storm Expected!

Employers: Workers, toil until death!

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

'Hey you take that outside.'

'Triple your money back! 100% effective against pesticide resistant insects! Guaranteed!

Fraud Squad

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

Excess Baggage: People will do almost anything to avoid paying those fees for checked baggage.

'He has a real quiet way about him...until the feed runs out.'

Umbrella fight.

Shadow Punch