Frugal Fighters Pillows

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Prices may keep going up, up, up, but my love for you will remain positively, and forever, as is."

Hypocrisy about poverty

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"How come politicians don't earn mimimum wage. If anybody does minimum work, it's them."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

Pandora's box.

Stress on GPs

Bernard Madoff's House Arrest.

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

Man with Sword in Penholder

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

How to do without

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'I may be 40 years old, but I have the student debt of a 20 year old.'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

Fraud Squad

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'