Financial Fighter Pillows

Stocks have ruined me....'Poor devil!'

Fighting off the Fringe Economy.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"Prices may keep going up, up, up, but my love for you will remain positively, and forever, as is."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

Student Debt

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

"We got the cactus account!"

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

Breaking Through

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

Stress on GPs

Bernard Madoff's House Arrest.

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

Man with Sword in Penholder

MBA, PhD £100,000 student loan. Please Help.

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

We're working on a cure for funding cuts.

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

Fraud Squad

"With me it's even worse. I'm still paying off loans from nursery school."