Fashionable Ailment Seeker Pillows

"It's a very hip disease, so it's good that we caught it early, before everyone's talking about it."

wattle covers

Born to be Mild.

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

The Phyllis Diller Collection

'I made a good living applying tattoos and a fortune removing them.'

"Apparently 'the vest' is making a comeback..."

"A guy in 'recovery' wants to buy your slippers."

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

'I couldn't find your slippers. Will these do?'

Figure 1. Termite queen maternity wear

"You might consider new socks as well."

Tattoo Parlour: 'I brought the pig because I have no space left.'

"With all the tech handy, there's really no reason to be late, lost or out of style."

Emo Snail

Dog Tattoo

'Be honest, do I look that dorky?'

'Forget it, Bob, they're way to skinny!'

Author who wants his novel pierced.

'It says white man got a tattoo, in chinese.'

Flip This Housecoat

"Welcome to Smart Eating Weight Loss. We've changed our menu options... have you?"

'Where are the jockey shorts?'

Giant Shoe Sale

'I didn't get the job. They said I've not got enough determination.'

"That's pork - the meat of the pig. It makes an excellent substitute for tofu."

Barbers Shop: 'I think we can manage the look you're after sir - just stand with your back against...'

Turtle wearing bunny slippers.

Like my earrings? They're cellphones.

"You did it, Harold - you got rid of that moustache!"

I didn't know you were keen on jogging!

Edward stayed home, biding his time & waiting for the pipe smoking revival.

Workmen's fashions

Sid was regretting having a tattoo...all his mates now call him Popeye!