Fashion Victim Sympathizer Pillows

'It appears he caught his tie. Let's mark this one down as a victim of fashion.'

Your Guide to Winning Movember

F&E Designs. My reversible jacket didn't turn out very well.

'Kate was running late for work and to make matters worse she put a ladder in her stockings'

"It's a smaller, less destructive nuclear weapon, but it's also a hat."

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

'We need someone who dresses as badly as you and has an ability to accept criticism...are you interested in the job, jerk?'

'This is Hell, madam. Everything you try on will make your butt look big.'

"Why must you insist on making knee-high socks out of all my ankle socks?"

'I had a wardrobe malfunction. I lost my pocket protector.'

'Do red sweaters have that carcinogenic red dye #2 in them?'

'Gorgeous or gorging, why do I always have to choose?'

Deadly fashion

"Howard can't handle the thought of paying for this gown. It's put him into Post Dramatic Dress Syndrome."

"You are doing this on purpose, don't you!"

'Have you got anything a little less invasive?'

Ape.

Anti-Sweatshop Campaign

"I told you that 'biodegradable' pants were a bad idea!"

Attention Q-Mart shoppers! For pennies a month, you can financially support the impoverished 3rd world child wage-slave who sewed the very clothes you're buying today!

'It's the best charity shop in the high street.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but be have specific instructions from your wife not to sell you a speedo.'

"Maybe you're overdoing the scarf thing."

'Any old clothes for the jumble sale?'

"Perhaps THESE are what you're looking for, Professor Moriarty?"

'I told you that stilettos were dangerous!'

'Ah! The old comfy shorts eh? Still good for a couple more summers I see.'

"Ever since COVID, I have no taste."

'Anything to take those shoes off.'

The bad news is that I left the claim ticket for my hat in my pants pocket, and I left my pants at the pants-check window. But the good news is that I left the claim ticket for my pants in my hat, so maybe together we can works something out. Hat Check.

Men wearing loud shirts are the first loaded onto airplane.

"I'll be with you in a minute. I have to stretch out my skinny jeans before I can fit into them."

"You're not going out wearing that tie with that shirt are you?"

Active wear, activist wear.

A Man Whose Trousers Do Not Fit.