Fashion Upgrade Gifts

"Don't rush me, I can't find nothing to wear."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"This is daring, but I like it."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

"Can't tell one from another with those protective face masks."

"And getting rarer by the day, madam!"

'Mind if I wear it to the door? I want to test audience reaction.'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

"Put another minnow on my line!"

Rudy, am I correct that you and Armstrong each just upgraded your laptops? Yeah, so? And last month, if I'm not mistaken, you and Armstrong each upgraded your phones. Again, so? Don't you see what's happened to you and Armstrong? You've synchronized your cycles. What? Your upgrade cycles! They're in sync! What in the world are you talking about? What in the world indeed?!

The Mortons: It's all about our money.

Postes Modernes

'Oh, we haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

"You might consider new socks as well."

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."

"I don't really have the skirt for this blouse."

'zillions spent learning about weight loss... But no one has a clue about weight shift.'

Bag Lady.

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

"I can guarantee it's the latest thing...until the next thing arrives."