Fashion Sensei T-Shirts

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"Remedial Karate"

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

A Woman's Conquests.

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

'Take ten years off the top.'

Money going to shark and piggy bank.

"you want to get out a bit more you do"

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

"You might consider new socks as well."

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

Designer labels "I'm sorry, but I think I've forgotten your name."

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

'Maybe a tad too much eye makeup.'

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

"Have you ever wondered what I'd look like in skinny jeans?"

"We've ruled out anything trendy."

"Somewhere in France Balzac, the parrot, cries Yves Saint Laurent, Yves Saint Laurent, every time the doorbell rings."

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'

Short Hair: Expectations vs. Reality

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

"Take me to your tailor."

"That'll be another 50c for my retirement fund."

"Inspected by #16."

'Growing a beard?' - 'Yes, not so much face to wash.'

Clothing on other planets

Sushi hats

'Would you like your books cooked?'