Fix-it Sensei T-Shirts

"Remedial Karate"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Tool Box

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'Well, that's fixed that.'

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

Timber preservation

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Bob’s Museum

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Was it a fuse?"

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Organized chaos.

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

'Vice squad - you're busted.'