Fashion Sensei Gifts

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

"Remedial Karate"

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

A Woman's Conquests.

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

"You might consider new socks as well."

Money going to shark and piggy bank.

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

"you want to get out a bit more you do"

'Take ten years off the top.'

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

Designer labels "I'm sorry, but I think I've forgotten your name."

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

"Somewhere in France Balzac, the parrot, cries Yves Saint Laurent, Yves Saint Laurent, every time the doorbell rings."

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'

"Have you ever wondered what I'd look like in skinny jeans?"

'Maybe a tad too much eye makeup.'

"We've ruled out anything trendy."

Short Hair: Expectations vs. Reality

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

"Take me to your tailor."

"Inspected by #16."

Clothing on other planets

"That'll be another 50c for my retirement fund."

'Growing a beard?' - 'Yes, not so much face to wash.'

'Would you like your books cooked?'