Fashion Rival Gifts

'Darling, didn't you hear? Black is the new black.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

Rock and Roll

"Like my new haircut?"

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'More hair than brains.'

The Sculptor

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

Man burning his tie.

Punkins

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

'Good luck with the presentation dear and I still think it would be better without the hat!'

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

"Fashion Week"

How Fashion Works - 'You obviously haven't heard - the adults are wearing them narrow now,'

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)

"Port outbound, starboard home."

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

The Aging of Underwear

Vacancies in Customer Care - Up Yours

"...and if we need someone with an earrings, I'll be in touch."

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

A cow with a Brazilian.

'Does anyone have a question?'