Fashion Irony Lover Pillows

"I'll take one in every color."

"Keep what's inside. Just hand over the purse."

Men's Clothing. Shirts. Sale. Yes, sir, one size does fit all, but it's not that size.

'Yeah, but I was a disgusting bum before it was fashionable to be a disgusting bum!'

'I figured that, in paradise, the girls would wear SHORT stuff.'

'You a trend-setter? That hat is older than you are!'

"Look at these old clothes, Dylan! You know, tie-dye HAS made a comeback!"

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

As Seen Watching TV

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'