Fashion Irony Fan Pillows

I like your suit, to me it says 'management'

"Yeah, I been neutered. Why?"

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

As Seen Watching TV

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

I e-bay t-shirt.

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

"Apparently 'the vest' is making a comeback..."

Ms. Bronte has a bad Eyre day.

"Look at these old clothes, Dylan! You know, tie-dye HAS made a comeback!"

Gigolo Diary

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

'I need something to wear to a bankruptcy hearing.'

'I got dressed in the dark.'

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"

"Rough ruff? Rough!"

Nerd Day Was Always The Least Popular Part Of Fashion Week.

'Tah-DAH! -- Guess what I conquered!'

'Does my gum look big in this?'

A Thinking Man's Guide to the Tuxedo T-Shirt

"It keeps track of how long you've been wearing workout clothes without actually working out."

Ask me about my thick neck.

Bristish Summerwear Collection.

Finally, a fanny-pack he could be proud of.

"I'll take one in every color."

"Due to supply chain issues, we'll need to transport items via cargo shorts."

"It doesn't mean anything. I just like how it looks."

'Have you got anything a little less invasive?'

'Well, they've finally designed a bikini that's smaller than the price ticket.'

Until recently an angel was rewarded with wings. Today he is dressed by Lagerfeld.

"I just bought this shirt!" "The regretful hulk"