Fashion-forward Elder Gifts

"Walter is more into Hip-Op these days."

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

Rock on Grandma!

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

Future Old People

"Here are our latest frames, designed to make you look with-it, even though your past-it."

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

"The worrying thing is, I'm exactly the same age as Tina Turner."

Exercise Classes for the over 60s - Pottering 8pm.

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

'My investment portfolio is a mixed bag. It's performing well but it lacks panache.'

Elderly and artificial intelligence

Lift chair fun!

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

"He's been in there for about three weeks. . . I warned him that he was too old to sit in a seventies bean bag."

"Everyone showed up to celebrate, except for your pension plan sponsor."

"Another year and another inch for your belt buckle."

Do not dare ask me about my grandchildren!

Maid

''No, sir, adult living doesn't mean X-rated."

'Isn't it sweet how grampa loves to keep up with technology?'

"I'm going to close my eyes and count to three. When I open them, ten of those candles better be gone."