Stylish Elder Gifts

Rock on Grandma!

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

The Club

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

Future Old People

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

At the Old Bikers' Home

'Forget it, sonny. My power of attorney is all sorted out.'

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

"Still prickly, but smart. Styling gel makes the difference."

100th Birthday

Exercise Classes for the over 60s - Pottering 8pm.

"Another year and another inch for your belt buckle."

Elderly and artificial intelligence

"Everyone showed up to celebrate, except for your pension plan sponsor."

'Franklin's waiting for the Google 'Street View' car to drive by so he can moon it.'

The secret to success...is making it to another year."

"He's been in there for about three weeks. . . I warned him that he was too old to sit in a seventies bean bag."

"You'd think they'd fill in the gaps!"

"Walter is more into Hip-Op these days."

"It'll spell the end of our dirty dancing group."

Do not dare ask me about my grandchildren!

'Isn't it sweet how grampa loves to keep up with technology?'

"I'm going to close my eyes and count to three. When I open them, ten of those candles better be gone."