Stylish Elder Gifts

Rock on Grandma!

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

The Club

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

'Forget it, sonny. My power of attorney is all sorted out.'

At the Old Bikers' Home

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

100th Birthday

"Still prickly, but smart. Styling gel makes the difference."

Exercise Classes for the over 60s - Pottering 8pm.

The secret to success...is making it to another year."

"He's been in there for about three weeks. . . I warned him that he was too old to sit in a seventies bean bag."

"Everyone showed up to celebrate, except for your pension plan sponsor."

Elderly and artificial intelligence

"You'd think they'd fill in the gaps!"

"Walter is more into Hip-Op these days."

"It'll spell the end of our dirty dancing group."

Do not dare ask me about my grandchildren!

'Isn't it sweet how grampa loves to keep up with technology?'

'I view Harold as renewable matter slowly dissolving into fossil fuel, rather than a man in the October of his years.'