Fashion Decision Maker Gifts

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

In the Guru District

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Men's business romper.

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

"So what if people do laugh? The world can use a little more laughter, can't it?"

"Gift"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

GQ Magazine: Stay at Home Special.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

'I'll take it!'

"Well, so much for my lucky hat! I've worn it to five interviews and not ONE callback!"

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Notice: this dress will be out of style by January 2009.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

How would Madam like to pay?

Trendies, INC

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress