Farmland Philosopher Pillows

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

'What's your take on this new farm program legislation? -- I've never been on a farm.'

'Locusts?'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

It MUST be Valentines Day!

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

Dept. de Philosophie

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Stop and Smell the Roses

"I've never trusted cows."

"Sometimes, son, the guilt inside builds up so much you have to vent the shame silo."

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

Learning.

I lactate, therefore I am.

I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets.

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

I see Jerry's had a heart attack!

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-yi-ee-yi-oh, and on that farm he had a mirror...