Farming Philosopher Pillows

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."

'Do you realise that every time I turn my head to talk to you it stimulates Qi flow along the small intestine, triple heater, stomach, spleen, gall bladder and liver meridians?'

It's not enough just to 'milk me'...what's my motivation? Do I want to be milked?

Future for US farmers...

Farmers Fortune: "You should have about the same success as last year."

Speculators and Food Production

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

Is there life after digestion?

Bureaucracy in Food Production

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Agricultural Psychology

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

It MUST be Valentines Day!

Saguaro Cacti.

Grass: We lost some good men today!

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

Stop and Smell the Roses

Dept. de Philosophie

The ethics professor weeding his garden.

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

"I've never trusted cows."

"Sometimes, son, the guilt inside builds up so much you have to vent the shame silo."

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

I lactate, therefore I am.

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."