Farm-to-table Chef Pillows

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Like death by salad.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Is the MSG local?"

Aprons

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

The Velvet Mesquite

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

"What about the five that fell through?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Tzatzikicicle

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'I don't have the heart. You tell him the barbeque season is over.'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

Roasted Peppers

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'Fresh eggs!'

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

Spatula Conductor

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head