Farm-to-table Chef T-Shirts

We get so much produce from our farm share, I can't decide what to cook. Use everything! How about a stew with squash, peppers and corn in a zesty tomato base? Would your kids even put it on their plates? Of course! As long as it didn't touch the mac 'n' cheese.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Like death by salad.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Is the MSG local?"

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Aprons

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

The Velvet Mesquite

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

Licensed to grill.

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"What about the five that fell through?"

Tzatzikicicle

"Well-done, alright?"

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'I don't have the heart. You tell him the barbeque season is over.'

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

Roasted Peppers

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'Fresh eggs!'

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."