Farm Fancy Gifts

"I'll repeat the question! Does this axe belong to you?"

"I can't find a decent bagel in this place."

An Autobahn in the form of a farm barn.

Cow Pinatas

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

Wild Cow.

'Get right back out there, young man, and track some mud in!'

A Palindrome Cow.

'George, stop playing with the children.'

Money Tree

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

BOO MOO!

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

Domestic Animals.

It's an I-O-Ewe.

Some genetically engineered pig

Ham-Dram

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'Excellent napkin.'

'We let our products speak for themselves. This is ‘I Can't Believe It's So Tasty And Price-Friendly In Today's Demanding Market.' '

Your life is in great danger...

'This is my mom and dad.'

"Daddy says he got the promotion: We'll be able to afford to move to greener pastures!"

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

'In factory farms they're fed antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and even arsenic. We give them a lot less of the antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and arsenic.'

Celebrating Spring Can Be Shear Hell

"Mine is a dairy farmer: He's up way before dawn every day..."

'Was that yours Clarrie, or one of mine?'

"The school district is great and I love the layout - I'm just not sure the mud is gooey enough."