Farm Fancy Gifts

"I'll repeat the question! Does this axe belong to you?"

"I can't find a decent bagel in this place."

An Autobahn in the form of a farm barn.

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'Get right back out there, young man, and track some mud in!'

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

Wild Cow.

A Palindrome Cow.

'George, stop playing with the children.'

Money Tree

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

BOO MOO!

It's an I-O-Ewe.

Domestic Animals.

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

Ham-Dram

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

Some genetically engineered pig

Your life is in great danger...

'We let our products speak for themselves. This is ‘I Can't Believe It's So Tasty And Price-Friendly In Today's Demanding Market.' '

'Excellent napkin.'

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

Celebrating Spring Can Be Shear Hell

"The school district is great and I love the layout - I'm just not sure the mud is gooey enough."

'In factory farms they're fed antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and even arsenic. We give them a lot less of the antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and arsenic.'

I advertised in What Cow!

"Mine is a dairy farmer: He's up way before dawn every day..."

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

"Daddy says he got the promotion: We'll be able to afford to move to greener pastures!"

'Was that yours Clarrie, or one of mine?'

'English is their second language.'

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."