Fare Analyzer Gifts

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Stephen King's latest horror novel: 'Healthcare reform debate'

Consortia set to take over

Airline check-in with a bankruptcies update.

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

'On jobless...on foreclosed...on worry and insomniac!'

'There is a $15 baggage fee... a $15 airport improvement fee... a $15 full body scan fee... a $15 pat-down fee...'

Fastest gun on the Silk Road

United Reputation

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

'We've had our new simplified gas bill!'

Life is a Fare War

Airline Charges

'No specials will be seen tonight, so that we may bring you our regularly-scheduled programs....'

'Sorry. In the time it took you to get out your credit card the price of smokes went up another 30 cents.'

New contract favours 'business-savvy' GPs.

Straight Ahead / Whoopee

UK budget 2021.

School Budget Cuts

"Wait a minute! What parts and labor?"

Goodbye Crude World.

'Mind the step.'

Financial Advisor. How would you describe your income and outgo? Instant conversion.

'Sorry, you'll just have to reverse back to where it was only £101'

"Technical support was free, but they charged me long distance for the call to India!"

Airplane Tickets.

'Wow! Look at the roaming charges on our cell phone bill!'

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.

"I did pay my whole bill. It's just that my payment for the hidden fees is hidden."

'John I'm 25 years old. How much longer have I got to dress like this just to save you a half fare?'