Fantasy Tax Consultant Pillows

'You're to appear as a state's witness in a case involving undeclared income, by one of your clients.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"There's another one of those blokes that work from home."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

Counting dollars

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"