Fantasy Tax Consultant Gifts

'You're to appear as a state's witness in a case involving undeclared income, by one of your clients.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

IRS Audits. That's your fourth "honest" mistake in a row!

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

Single Prayer Health Insurance

Counting dollars

"There's another one of those blokes that work from home."

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"