Future Tax Guru Gifts

'I understand, Billy, that you're planning a career in the IRS?'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"Carpe De Revenue!"

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

New Improved I.R.S.

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Tell the press direct EU-taxation is necessary..."

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'

"Found meat is income."

'Is it true that you people give tax breaks for minority-owned businesses?'

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'