Tax Geek Gifts

'Well, okay. But I hope you'll be declaring this on your next tax return.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

IRS Audit Section

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Do you, John, accept a married tax allowance with Sandra ?'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

Footing The Bill

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

New Improved I.R.S.

Osborne's Tax Cuts

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

Stimulus bust

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

"I now represent both death and taxes."