Wannabe Tax Guru Gifts

"Could I go to jail for something I didn't do? I didn't pay my income tax."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"Carpe De Revenue!"

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

New Improved I.R.S.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

Stimulus bust

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"