Tax Consulting Pillows

'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Time Is Money

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."