Fantasy-loving Scholar T-Shirts

"I think everyone appreciates the difficulties of getting published, competition is brutal."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Fifteen

"Little help?"

Late BroomStick

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

ET Mishap

J. R. R. Tolkien

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"What the hell took so long?"

"Where the wild things were."

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

'We studied the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper today. May I have an ice cream cone?'

The Beard in the Stone

Birds Following Witch.

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

'I think they're up to something.'

"Yes, I'm sure. The dragon I saw was quite a bit bigger."

"Shall I let them breathe."

"Yeah, that's right. I'm the sandman. Where did you think I was getting my sand all these years?"

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'