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The 'I'd rather be fishing' prayer.

The Bookworm

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'We studied the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper today. May I have an ice cream cone?'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

Good luck in your A Levels.

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

"How do you know if you're really in love, Randy?"

“Honestly class, where are your minds?!”

I got into the college everyone wants to go to! Well played. It's the perfect fit for me! Way to go! Eco-Club. Which one is it? Dunno. Why do you care? So I don't apply there!

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

The bane of every college applicant: the admissions essay.

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

Tunnel of I Like You but I'm just really busy right now with grad school and stuff.

"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."

Universidad

"I went to college knowing I wanted to be an astronaut. My parents had only a third-grade education. But they were good teachers. They taught me the importance of hard work...of perseverance...of not being afraid to dream."

The existentialist manifesto according to Jean-Paul Sinatra-'oooby Dooby Doo!'

'And finally, if you're going to commit a felony, do it before ol' dad incurs the high cost of tuition.'

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."