Fantasy King Gifts

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

Second lifeReal life.

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

Next in Lion

Loch Ness Beer Monster

Counting my Bonus...

Balding gnomes

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

Pirates

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

"Sometimes, late at night, I do wonder, 'is he laughing at me or laughing with me?'"

Knight with paint tin on his head.

Financial Advisor to client: 'Your portfolio still could earn money if you believe in the existence of junk bond elves.'

'We should have removed that sign.'

A not-so-bright vampire with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

'I'm typecast!'

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

Wash and Go...to hell...

'Hello, my name is Death'

'Nine out of ten witch doctors stranded on an island prefer eyes of newt over bat wings for a headache.'

'Wait a minute...You're the enchanted unicorn?'

'These photos are ruined... Not one of us has red-eye!'

'I'm tired of throwing lightning bolts. Do we have any water balloons?'

Monsters under a child's bed.

'He had Rumplestiltskin spin all the kingdom's straw into gold, and then all the cows starved to death.'

Repossessed Properties.

"Okay, so I wasted a wish. But, I had to check he wasn't just fooling with us."