Fantasy Draft Gifts

"Yeah, but I had Goliath on my fantasy league team."

"But in my fantasy business league I'm making millions."

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

Deregulated Baseball

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

'Dad, did the stork bring me or did you get me in fantasy draft?'

Sports Bar. Do you even do any fantasy sports? Only when I'm making a bet on my favorite team.

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

Football Fish

"Too bad for you that the judge rules in favor of dogs playing in varsity sorts."

"He left behind a wife, three kids, and the number one rated fantasy football quarterback."

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'

'With my knowledge of math and science, maybe I could help establish world pece or end world hunger. Or even win my fantasy football league.'

Stats. Fantasy League. The difference between men and boys is men draft their imaginary friends onto fantasy sports teams.

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

"See - it works in my fantasy research league."

'This is better than magic beans, Jack. It's stock in the company that makes the magic beans.'

Fantasy Football League training Camp.

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."

"In Heaven it does."

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

"Gretzky shoots from three-point land for the extra point..." "Idiot"

'The sports seasons never end, now with all his fantasy leagues.'

Fantasy Football Awards: 'The trophy to the Monday morning quarterback with the widest end zone...'

"Whoa! Now Philly has the bases loaded with one out!..."

NBA Vampire

Hi! Frank and Ernie, here, with the clock running down on another Superbowl! It's been a wild affair! I'll say! The seals and penguins kept starting the wave! And the zebras were throwing flags all over the place!...The Kangaroo kept jumping offsides and the octopus was called for holding. Eight times! And all on the same play! But no question the game's MVP is the electric eel...thirty-two carries and nobody touched him once! It was shocking!

"What should you do? Here's what you should do: invent a time machine, go back sixteen months, and convert everything to cash."

'In my fantasy retirement league, I'm having a great time.'

"We're updating stats for our fantasy football league."