Football Fantasy Gifts

"But in my fantasy business league I'm making millions."

Centaur Forward

A prehistoric football match.

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

Deregulated Baseball

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

'Dad, did the stork bring me or did you get me in fantasy draft?'

"He left behind a wife, three kids, and the number one rated fantasy football quarterback."

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'

"See - it works in my fantasy research league."

'With my knowledge of math and science, maybe I could help establish world pece or end world hunger. Or even win my fantasy football league.'

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

Fantasy Football Awards: 'The trophy to the Monday morning quarterback with the widest end zone...'

'I KNEW that I should have used my LEFT foot!'

"Whoa! Now Philly has the bases loaded with one out!..."

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

"Gretzky shoots from three-point land for the extra point..." "Idiot"

'The sports seasons never end, now with all his fantasy leagues.'

Midnight in Minnesota

'From now on, if the ball goes anywhere near that thing, it's a ground-rule double.'

Dragon brought on as substitute

"What should you do? Here's what you should do: invent a time machine, go back sixteen months, and convert everything to cash."

"The talking stone wall of New England." "Tommy’s days are numbered—he’s seventy in quarterback years!" "You’re nuts! Look at the numbers, they don’t lie."