Fantasy Baseball Gifts

"Look, I can't talk dude—Megan is leaving me and—what? I can still draft Aaron Judge? What about Ohtani? Check. I'll hold."

Fantasy baseball fans camp.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Church for sports worshipers.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"I AM at my usual position."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

High-gravity baseball

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

350 Feet.

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

Perils of the double play.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."