Fantasy Decor Aficionado Pillows

"Would you mount the front half of a centaur?"

Cake Free Zone

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

Man admires his Cubist Painting.

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'Are you sure energy efficient isn't just a nice way of saying you're not too bright?'

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

'A Dust Cow'.

The Arcimboldo Arrangement

"Hal said he had big dreams...so he bought this bed."

Enthralled by the appealing throw pillows, Barry never saw the fighting pillow coming.

'I wish I'd listened to Sarah Beeny now.'

WInter Fish

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

Tub Canyon

clown trophies

Scarecrow with a TV head.

"Ghah! I hung the new mirror upside down!"

Unicorn Hunting Trophy

"I'll sue you for copyright infringement."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"As them if I can have the bottle when it's empty - it'll make a really nice table lamp."

'Most people would appreciate having a mural in their home.'

Cuckoo Clock and Grandfather Clock.

'This should only take a minute. This couple is interested in buying my couch.'

"If you like it you'd better act quick. 'Under the bed' got scooped up the moment it hit the market."