Fantasy Decor Aficionado Pillows

"Would you mount the front half of a centaur?"

Cake Free Zone

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Litter Tray Stonehenge

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

Man admires his Cubist Painting.

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'Are you sure energy efficient isn't just a nice way of saying you're not too bright?'

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

Enthralled by the appealing throw pillows, Barry never saw the fighting pillow coming.

'A Dust Cow'.

"Hal said he had big dreams...so he bought this bed."

The Arcimboldo Arrangement

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

WInter Fish

'I wish I'd listened to Sarah Beeny now.'

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

Unicorn Hunting Trophy

Tub Canyon

Scarecrow with a TV head.

clown trophies

"Ghah! I hung the new mirror upside down!"

"I'll sue you for copyright infringement."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"As them if I can have the bottle when it's empty - it'll make a really nice table lamp."

'Most people would appreciate having a mural in their home.'

'This should only take a minute. This couple is interested in buying my couch.'

"If you like it you'd better act quick. 'Under the bed' got scooped up the moment it hit the market."