Fantasy Home Enthusiast Pillows

'I wish I'd listened to Sarah Beeny now.'

"I didn't spark joy."

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

You're in violation of several bylaws, ma'am: Too many peppermint sticks, gingerbread shingles, sugar pollution of storm sewers - And with all the kids we've seen go in there, your occupancy clearly exceeds ordinances.

'So this is a kitchen!'

"Mobile Tree Home"

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

Mr. & Mrs. Putty get dream home.

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

Homeowners.

"My husband, of course, will want a den."

Repossessed Properties.

The Old Woman in the Shoe's summer home.

Coming Home

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

'And this is the walk-in laundry chute.'

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.

Houses built by Jack and Jerry.

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

"You'll love it. It's a newly restored 300,00-year-old brownstone with oodles of authentic charm."

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'It's a beautiful home with the exception of a little radon gas."

"The HOA is bustin' my chops about my paint colors!"