Fans Of Office Humor Gifts

'Well... something makes me think that you want a raise, Mr Johansen...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Can do...No can do

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"And where have you previously moused?"

The Rubber Ball Company

Organization is not rocket science!

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."