Fans Of Humorous Sports Tales Gifts

'...And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you medalling kids!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

The best goalie in the world!

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

Golf escape.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'Watch out for the hidden ball trick.'

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

"I feel like I play better on clay."

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

False starts.

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

"Sweetie, I know we missed Princesses on Ice, but I'm going to make it up to you."

Competitive Horse at the Racetracks.

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'Time is running out - shoot! Everyone is starting to keel over and die!!'

Sports update: Some teams won and some teams lost.

'Promise me. Never again. Don't ever get sheared right before a fight.'

'No doubt about it... serves are MUCH faster these days!'

"Then I said, let's stay with Santa's sleigh, but nooo ... you wanted to see a Rangers game!"

'CSI: Basketball.'

'The champ will make twenty million from this fight, mainly from selling advertising space on his shorts...'

'What do you mean, slam dunk??'

Getting rid of the opposition.