Fans Of Classic Novels Gifts

'I won't marry you, but I'll be Robinson Crusoe to your Friday!'

Honoré de Balzac

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Sock Puppet in Literature

Jorge Luis Borges

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

A.M Gorky

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

"No. I don't want to see an all-male production of 'Little Women.' "

Gulliver's other travels.

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

Through the Looking Glass - The White Knight and The Red Knight Battle.

The Inn Keeper's Wife and Daughter taking care of the Don after being beaten and bruised.

"Call me Ishmael."

"You'll never believe who's here."

Collected works

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

Graham Greene

"It's by A.I. Milne."

Moby Dick.

'Dang! My applications as a mailman, a football player and a dancing teacher got rejected. I guess I've got to go on hunting that stupid white whale...'

"Me Tarzan; you Jane - no role play!"

Tiny Tim, who did not die, grows up to marry Little Nell, who did not die, either.

'The first act of air rage'

'I've been speed-reading this book - only took 15 minutes. It's about Russia.'

F. Scott Fitzgerald

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."