Classic Novel Aficionados Gifts

'What the Dickens?'

Honoré de Balzac

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

Sock Puppet in Literature

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Dorothy, the lion, and the scarecrow, are suddenly confronted by the tin man of Oz.

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

Jorge Luis Borges

'Romeo and Julietta'

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

"No. I don't want to see an all-male production of 'Little Women.' "

A.M Gorky

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

The Inn Keeper's Wife and Daughter taking care of the Don after being beaten and bruised.

"Call me Ishmael."

"You'll never believe who's here."

Through the Looking Glass - The White Knight and The Red Knight Battle.

Collected works

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

"Me Tarzan; you Jane - no role play!"

"Don't we like the Brothers Grimm anymore?"

"It's by A.I. Milne."

'Dang! My applications as a mailman, a football player and a dancing teacher got rejected. I guess I've got to go on hunting that stupid white whale...'

Graham Greene

Moby Dick.

Tiny Tim, who did not die, grows up to marry Little Nell, who did not die, either.

'I've been speed-reading this book - only took 15 minutes. It's about Russia.'

F. Scott Fitzgerald