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'What the Dickens?'

Honoré de Balzac

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Sock Puppet in Literature

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

'Romeo and Julietta'

Dorothy, the lion, and the scarecrow, are suddenly confronted by the tin man of Oz.

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

Jorge Luis Borges

A.M Gorky

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

"No. I don't want to see an all-male production of 'Little Women.' "

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

"You'll never believe who's here."

"Call me Ishmael."

Through the Looking Glass - The White Knight and The Red Knight Battle.

The Inn Keeper's Wife and Daughter taking care of the Don after being beaten and bruised.

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

"Don't we like the Brothers Grimm anymore?"

Graham Greene

'Dang! My applications as a mailman, a football player and a dancing teacher got rejected. I guess I've got to go on hunting that stupid white whale...'

"Me Tarzan; you Jane - no role play!"

"It's by A.I. Milne."

Moby Dick.

Tiny Tim, who did not die, grows up to marry Little Nell, who did not die, either.

'The first act of air rage'

'I've been speed-reading this book - only took 15 minutes. It's about Russia.'