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'I won't marry you, but I'll be Robinson Crusoe to your Friday!'

Honoré de Balzac

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Sock Puppet in Literature

Jorge Luis Borges

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

A.M Gorky

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

Gulliver's other travels.

"No. I don't want to see an all-male production of 'Little Women.' "

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

The Inn Keeper's Wife and Daughter taking care of the Don after being beaten and bruised.

Through the Looking Glass - The White Knight and The Red Knight Battle.

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

"You'll never believe who's here."

"Call me Ishmael."

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

'Dang! My applications as a mailman, a football player and a dancing teacher got rejected. I guess I've got to go on hunting that stupid white whale...'

Moby Dick.

"It's by A.I. Milne."

"Me Tarzan; you Jane - no role play!"

Graham Greene

Tiny Tim, who did not die, grows up to marry Little Nell, who did not die, either.

'The first act of air rage'

'I've been speed-reading this book - only took 15 minutes. It's about Russia.'

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

"You have the Hum bug.'