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Honest Harry's Last Chance Pet Adoption...

"Bless You."

Horse draws a baby carriage.

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

Top Secret Files

You'd think I'd learn after four dates, but I keep running back to her.

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

Barber does skinhead's haircut with a lawn mower.

'I finally got my pouch pierced.'

'...and I also feel guilty for smelling up your office.'

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

One day having a great personality was going to become a crucial evolutionary trait...

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

Used restroom but didn't buy anything!

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

How Guinea Pigs are made.

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

Golfer in a tree.

Now, remember, when you prepare your taxes this year, you'll want to use our new E-Z Armed Robbery Income Form.

'Pavlov's first experiment'

'I'm afraid that I'm going to wind up an old maid!'

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

"And now, moving along to our right, we have Hilda Schumacher, of Zelton Falls, Pennsylvania. Ms. Schumacher has been painting clowns on velvet for over fifteen years, and we find her work a fine example of this genre."

'You could have just TOLD me we were out of cups!'

"I won't need a doggie bag."

The world is my oyster and I'm allergic to shellfish.

"I don't have any yet. We just opened."