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Honest Harry's Last Chance Pet Adoption...

"Bless You."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Horse draws a baby carriage.

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

Top Secret Files

Barber does skinhead's haircut with a lawn mower.

'I finally got my pouch pierced.'

'...and I also feel guilty for smelling up your office.'

One day having a great personality was going to become a crucial evolutionary trait...

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

Now, remember, when you prepare your taxes this year, you'll want to use our new E-Z Armed Robbery Income Form.

"I won't need a doggie bag."

'You could have just TOLD me we were out of cups!'

"And now, moving along to our right, we have Hilda Schumacher, of Zelton Falls, Pennsylvania. Ms. Schumacher has been painting clowns on velvet for over fifteen years, and we find her work a fine example of this genre."

'Pavlov's first experiment'

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

'I'm afraid that I'm going to wind up an old maid!'

Golfer in a tree.

How Guinea Pigs are made.

"I don't have any yet. We just opened."

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."