Lover Of Funny Comics T-Shirts

"Me, after years of begging, I was finally allowed into the house yesterday. You know what, it was kind of a letdown..."

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'The environmental impact should be minimal. In any event, we can work around it.'

You're suffering from the current capital scheme in this country. Me? You and other small business people work your tail off. But the hedge fund managers make billions adding nothing to the economy

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

"You must be the demolition team."

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

When you said it was a place with women and a bar I didn't think you meant a ballet class.

I'm sorry, sir. We don

Vote for me...I'm not that guy!

Aristophanes

"Mind if I have the guys over to watch some poker?"

"Wow, is this the new bomb blast express drone delivery service?"

Karaoke. All of me ... Why not take all of me ...

'However, the jurors unanimously agreed that Blogojevich is the politician with the best hair!'

'Don't use the sauce-it's insulting to the chef.'

Wait, it turns out you're allergic to brains? I knew it! Old married zombie couple.

Bartender, there are some short hairs in my pink squirrel. As long as they're pink, what's the problem?

Superheroes queue for medicine.

'Do you have a reservation?'

"Incorrect postage, wrong zip code...it's your type we encourage to use email!"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'...Dewey, you go long. I'll take th snap and... Ohhhh, man! Who just sprayed?'

"I mean, have you tried not being an Elephant?"

Sleeping Fish.

Baseball signs.

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'

"We have an exceptionally loyal workforce."

Honest Harry's Last Chance Pet Adoption...

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 6

'Snake eyes or no snake eyes, the tall, skinny guy at the end of the table wins again.'

"Come in, minion. I found an old Lemont Brown article from Candorville.com, where he wrote about Dolores Park in San Francisco. For a brief and glorious time, you'd have to pay the city up to $250 to reserve a patch of grass. If anyone trespassed on your grass, security guards would roust them. It was the biggest breakthrough in the separation of the classes in ages. I'm going to make all our booths and toilets paid-reservation-only. Very bad man."