Fan Club Funny Gifts

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Snooze Bar.

Beer Parasol.

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

No, I don

tRUMp, Pirate President

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

Edvard Grieg

The bird feeder.

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

"Fish finder."

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.