Family Value Promoters Gifts

Progress.

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Family traits.

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Try not to worry.

Work Life Balance.

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

'He's trying to see more of his family.'

'Except...That.'

A Mom and Pop Operation

"And if that day comes, sweetie, just make sure your wedding album is inclusive-looking."

'That's it? Listen to my mom?'

'Text your father and tell him I'm not talking to him!'

100,000 ! You weren't joking about wanting a big family '.

"I told them I was sick of working all hours...and that I intended to stick to my hours and get home to give my son a bath and bedtime book....unfortunately he'd turned into a 26 year old commodities broker while I was in meetings!"

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

'It's our 10 year plan.'

'Sure raising my allowance is great, daddy but what I really want is power of attorney!!

'I'm married with five children.' - 'Sorry, we're looking for someone with sound judgement.'

"Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Pop."

'Ask your father first, dear, then we'll plan our strategy.'

'He's my father and I say we dump him pricate...!'

"You call yourself a pest removal expert? Well, my son is still living in my basement."

Marry one wife, get another one free - 'It's our new incentive for marriage.'