Family Values Appreciators Gifts

The Faith-Based Family

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

celebrating a birth.

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

Family traits.

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

"And if that day comes, sweetie, just make sure your wedding album is inclusive-looking."

A Mom and Pop Operation

'I already had one bath today! You want my skin to wear out?'

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

'That's it? Listen to my mom?'

'Thank you, my dear, for taking the runt of my litter in holy matrimony...'

'Look what my son gave me!'

'Creative right?'

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

'Any chance of getting a financial advance on my loose tooth?'

"Before it's too late, Dad, I want to take the opportunity to say 'I love you.'"

"I like being a kid - it's the ultimate entitlement program."

"I can't believe Tia Carmen is working in our cafeteria! This bites! How can she do this to me?"

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

"OK, class, for Hispanic Heritage Month, I want you draw a Latino hero."

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

"My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend and all I got was a new therapist."

'Well, my Dad doesn't care how big you are, Mr. Jones. He'll still knock your block off!'

"All I'm saying is that family values are really important to all of us. For example...I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. You?"

'The good news is that I've brought you a new pair of bicycle clips...'

'He helps keep me focused on what matters most.'

"Fred Homerson! How are you? How's the wife? The kids? The traditional family values?"

Leaving family

'I was very upset when I found my son smoking a whole bag of pot by himself... I've always taught him to share.'

"Am I talent or product?"

"Yes, dear - now that gay marriage is banned - this wonderful institution of marriage is safe!"