Family Dynamic Appreciator Gifts

'Any chance of getting a financial advance on my loose tooth?'

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

celebrating a birth.

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

"Act your birth order!"

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

'I try to run my family like a democracy, but what I really need is a line-item veto.'

'Grandparents! This time last year I wasn't good enough to marry your daughter, but now I've fathered the brightest child in the universe!'