Family Dynamic Enthusiasts Gifts

"That was the last of the children. They're all stopping by to share their repressed memories."

"This family is way too functional."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'Do you want the Head of the house or Dad?'

'Shame on you, son! You can't go around looking like that!'

'You click on it and it sends you to 'Ask Your Father do com'.'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

"Holiday time around our house is a nightmare."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

A child as a pet substitute.

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'