Family Dynamics Appreciator Gifts

"My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend and all I got was a new therapist."

Father's Day Cards for Your New Stepdad

'The good news is that I've brought you a new pair of bicycle clips...'

'Creative right?'

'Thank you, my dear, for taking the runt of my litter in holy matrimony...'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

He wanted a different one.

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

Origins Of Evolution

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"