Family Tree Sleuth Pillows

B**tard, B**tard & B**tard - Genealogists

Family DNA

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"We've found your birth mother."

'Omigosh! According to your resume, we share the same father!'

Who's your daddy?, INC. It

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

Man at desk researching through papers.

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

"Tia Carmen, are we related to Luis and Walter Alvarez?"

Related

"Our ancestors used all the hair genes."

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

"Hi! Is this Jesus of Nazarath, son of David? This is Stan. We're family! I found you on Ancestry."

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

She's got your eyes.

I'm beat! Was work too hard for you? I didn't notice you helping dig, haul, plant or water dad's nursery. Boo hoo! He paid you, didn't he? Yeah. But I'm too tired to spend it! Now I can help.

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

'I started a family tree too, but I gave it up fairly quickly: Way too many relatives...'

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

"And these are my ancestors. . . Malcom. The mighty, Simon the Strong, Byron the Brave. . . And Fenwick the Flatulent . . . We don't talk about him much!"

Son, I'm adopted

"Wow. I share DNA with Moby Dick!"

'Your DNA test results are now in.'

The lake is peaceful today. Hardly! Danger lurks! You never know when nature will strike. That's negative, Nana. Hi! Is Twig here? See what I mean? I'll go get her!

"You're the hardest client we've ever had."

"Howard is my second husband once removed."